•April 26, 2015 • Leave a Comment

Finally the awful heat and humidity that is Summer in Brisburgh has departed, and a bracing breeze from the South-West puts the Reverend in a Nostalgic Mood. To celebrate the seasons passings we reprint this updated version of an old classic..

bush sunset

Winter’s Grace

The evening sidles in a little earlier

these days,

the darkness cuddling closer

like a cat.

The doors and windows beckon burning

bright as butter flames.

The radiator hums me gently

a lullaby to sleep,

its orange glow as comforting

as snapshots of a happy childhood

moment long ago.


This is Winter’s Grace,

that it brings loved ones closer,

an animal huddling together

for human warmth.

This is Winter’s Duty,

to remind us that it is good

to have a roof above one’s head,

food upon the table

the company of a loving friends.


It is not Winter’s fault

that the Destitute wander

homeless beneath the skies.

Surely the blame is only Ours.

But it is cruel Winter’s Kindness

like a grim but benevolent Vet,

to end the sufferings of the weakest

with the soothing syrup of Sleep.

train to Hell four


flatland pt6.JPIGjpg



David Hallett handbill 2015 JPGAddress


rev going out the door

The Reverend Hellfire says;




•April 19, 2015 • Leave a Comment

abandoned library


I wish I were making this up but its true.

I saw a high-ranking education bureaucrat

deliver this speech on TV.

I took notes till the jargon jumbled my wits

so possibly there’s bits I missed,

but I got enough to get the Gist

it went;

“The new Educational paradigm

delivered by our policy formulations

will be underpinned by short-term budget imperatives

and research excellence based

on International Best Practise and efficient systems which

whilst seeking to deliver a Policy of Excellence in a volatile

and competitive International Education Industry

will produce a sustainable University system delivering results commensurate with

National political expectations.”

“Good Gods!”, I thought in shock and awe,

“These are the people

responsible for teaching our children

the English language.

No wonder Autism rates

are through the roof”.

(This is not much of a poem, but it’s the truth)


flatland 5 big JPIGtitle


David Hallett handbill 2015 JPGAddress


Answers to last weeks competition;

George Bush Jnr didn’t

park explosives in the Twin Towers basement, but the CIA did smuggle heroin

in South East Asia when George Snr was running things. Apparently the Islamic Hordes can 

claim for three wives at Centrelink but that Face on Mars is just a rock. Jackie Gleason didn’t shoot Kennedy, but he DID play golf with Richard Nixon and according to Jackie on his deathbed, the Tricky One took him late one night to a secret military facility where he was shown alien bodies floating in jars of green goo. Telephone companies and the Internet ARE, however, tracking your every move, and, according to witness testimony at the seemingly never-ending Investigation into child abuse in our schools, orphanages, churches, scout dens and ooh anywhere else you care to name really, has shown that our schools and churches are certainly over-run with people who, even if they’re not Satanists, certainly should be awarded honourary lifetime Satanic membership for their achievements. Socialists aren’t really injecting your children with Autism and the Aliens on the Moon are us. Everything else in the poem  is true. Go ask Google.



The Reverend Hellfire is..

..talking to himself again.



•April 12, 2015 • 1 Comment

moon shot


You talk about Aliens on the Moon, and immediately people look at you like you’re crazy” -Anonymous


Aliens on the Moon,

Faces on Mars,

Satanists and the Illuminati

in the Churches and Schools,

molesting our Children,

putting Fluoride in the Water.

Electro-Magnetism everywhere,

triggering a vague range of alarming

and shifting symptoms.

Vaccinationists injecting our children

with Autism & AIDS

as part of their diabolical Eugenicist plans

to eliminate the “Inferior Races”

and fulfill their Socialist-Green Agenda.

Meanwhile, the Islamic Hordes are busy too,

seeking to erode our way of Life

by rapidly breeding

and claiming for all three wives at Centrelink.#

UFO‘s and the Green Berets

are fighting it out underground at Area 51

while Richard Nixon and Jackie Gleason play golf above.

George Bush Junior parked a van

packed full of fertiliser sacks

in the car-park beneath the Twin Towers

shortly before 9/11,

while his Dad sold Heroin for the CIA.

Meanwhile, a giant Multi-National Company

has placed a GPS tracking device

in my phone without my permission,

as the Internet monitors my every move

and sells details of my personal life

to Telemarketers, Nigerian scammers

and mysterious Government Departments,

who have no name,

only letters and a number.

stonehenge on moon

And trust me, you don’t even want to know

about the Kennedy Assassinations!

george bush cropped ellipse

Oh, all right, I’ll tell you.

It was Jackie Gleason again.

Acting on orders from Richard Nixon.

“Send them ‘Straight to the Moon!’ for me, Jackie boy”

Yes, that’s just what Nixon told him,

right there on the golfing green

of the thirteenth hole at Area 51.

It’s True. I’ve seen a photocopy on You Tube

that proves it.


I suppose we’re just lucky that

that Mystery Planet didn’t appear

and wipe us out last year

like they said it would,

but I’m not sure I can continue

to live with all this stress.

Frankly, you’ve got to ask yourself;

why is there so much

suspicion and distrust

of “Authority” these days

and I guess the answer is,

when you look at Everything

thats actually happened

the Plots, the Conspiracies, the Assassinations,

the Murders and the Massacres

that have actually been known

and proved to have been done,

by our dear, beloved Leaders

over the last 100 years or so,

then, really,

you just can’t help thinking,

Those Bastards are capable of Anything!

Yes, Elizabeth of Bathory and Gilles de Rei

would fit in fine with today’s Celebrity Party Set.


Yes, They lie to us constantly, that much is True.

So much so, in fact, that not only

can you not believe anything They say,

but They’ve been doing it so loudly so long

that you don’t even know whats Real anymore.

Cognitive Dissonance sets in,

(Anything is possible when Nothing is Real)

and Complete Societal Collapse looms.

Mass Medicating the water supplies

may prove to be a blessing in the End,

for those who cannot cope with the Times.

surrealist dali

Conspiracy coils upon Conspiracy,

in an ever tightening gyre,

as the whole World goes mad

with Suspicion and Fear,

storing weapons and cans

of baked beans in bunkers,

with Crack-pipes’ glued to their trembling lips

they await the Zombie Apocalypse.

zombie nurse patrol

-written this  April, 2015 C.E., South Hemisphere, Third Rock from the Sun


# “CentreLink”-current name for the Australian Welfare Department


monkey and i pad in bath


Hey Kids! Guess how many of the Conspiracy rumours

in today’s Poem are Real*

and you could win a Fabulous Prize!


Just send your entries to;

before 9/11/2015 and you too could end up on Special Branch files!


*The term “Real” for the purposes of this Competition, applies to those acts, objects,

conversations and events that are held to be Fact by Wikpedia

or (similar reputable website)

and are accepted as such by the Reverend Hellfire.

No correspondence on the subject of Definitions will be entered into,

but if you want to go to the time and bother of making your own

Wiki entries, please feel free to do so. However, be aware that your work

will be peer reviewed.

By Me.


3. Please note, this is a “real” competition.


flatland pt4 JPIGFNL


rev one eye

The Reverend Hellfire is still a practising Performance Poet,

President of the Kurilpa Institute of Creativity

and an ordained Minister of the Church of Spiritual Humanism

AND the Church of the Universe.

He wonders if anyone reads this bit each week.



•April 5, 2015 • 6 Comments

traffic full 002

There Is No Emoticon For How I Feel


I don’t swallow hollow “Follows”,

Go take a hike, Oh shallow “Likes”.

I’ll take the lesser travelled road

and despise the Bloggers’ Code:

I’ll Like you if you Like me“,

Yes, who gives a fuck for Quality

when you’re chasing Quantity?

This Quest for superficial Popularity

is a sign of Emotional Immaturity,

or just an advertising ploy,

go and try some other boy.


Who are all these “Facebook Friends”?

(Fairweather Strangers to the End.)

On my hands I can count my real Friends,

the Few on whom I can depend

in this Age of Information

where I still feel trapped by Isolation,

for despite the ease of Communication

I still can’t get a Conversation!

I’m lucky to get a line or two

in response (and forget about punctuation!)


True, I can talk to old Friends far-away,

but few of them have much to say,

now that we live far apart.

Still I keep them in my Heart,

but they lead their lives,

I lead mine,

Now I’m just a Tag on their Timeline.


Don’t make the mistake

of expressing an Opinion,

thoughtful critical response

belongs in a Museum.

Just use the emoticon for “Frown”

Thumbs up! Thumbs down!

That’s Life in the Virtual Colosseum.

So B4 I accept your Friend Request,

can U pass this simple Test:

If I changed households, one fine day,

would you help me move,

if you weren’t paid?

phone abandoned


flatland pt3 Jpig


Reverend Redrum

The Reverend Hellfire is a practised Performance Poet,

President of the Kurilpa Institute of Creativity Inc,

and an ordained Minister of the Church of Spiritual Humanism

AND the Church of the Universe.

For some reason his writings appear here on this site every Sunday.

Go figure..



•March 29, 2015 • Leave a Comment

Perhaps its just the bloody awful heat and humidity, but there’s been a lot of this sort of shit happening lately. Perhaps we need new Nursery Rhymes, more appropriate for these sad & twisted times..

B&W famibly



Butcher from Ballarat

battered and bashed

both of his babies to death.

His De Facto then mentioned,

that both of their Pensions

depend on the brats drawing breath.


So the Bitch and the Butcher

who battered their babes,

burnt the bodies

(so they’d keep their Cheques).

They spent fast, had a blast,

but the fun didn’t last,

cos eventually,



*“Centrelink”; The Australian Social Welfare Department


flatland 2 JPIGalt


March VASUDHA handbill


reverend profile red

The Reverend Hellfire is a practised Performance Poet,

President of the Kurilpa Institute of Creativity,

and an ordained Minuster of the Church of Spiritual Humanism

AND the Church of the Universe.

“Is this the Fate of Poets, and their Reward,

to be remembered briefly, and then ignored.”


Small Town Girl

•March 22, 2015 • Leave a Comment

vintage porn

Small Town Girl


She came from Roma,

or maybe Rockhampton,

or some other red-dirt town

whose name I don’t remember now.

But she was kind of cute,

and had a bad tattoo

and was a total mental

and emotional burn out

after her brutal,

bloody, awful fucked-up childhood

that also, as a legacy,

left her as ignorant as a hillbilly.


But she was a real Survivor,

and sort of sweet,

and had outbursts of kindness

and generosity that bowled you over,

and sometimes she could still surprise you

with just how smart she really was,

when she wasn’t

all fucked up on pills.


I liked her for all of that

and even though she ended up

getting a big, rusty pair of scissors

and cutting off all the sleeves

from my silk shirts

when she left,

I still miss her sometimes,

and I hope that she’s ok.

1929 porn


flatland Jpig


March VASUDHA handbill



The Reverend Hellfire is a practised Performance Poet,

President of the Kurilpa Institute of Creativity

and ordained Minister of the Church of Spiritual Humanism

AND the Church of the Universe.

His Achilles Heel is Feet of Clay.



•March 15, 2015 • Leave a Comment

aurelian 2

Is Australia’s least-loved Prime Minist-ah

a re-incarnation of the Roman Emperor Aurelian?

Is Spin-Master Tony Abbott,


“Used to giving unquestioned commands in the field, (Aurelian) had no time for the traditional collegiate approach of the Principate.” -Alexander Canduci,”Triumph and Tragedy”*


There is nothing new under the Sun, or so

it says somewhere or other in one of the darker bits of the Bible, and certainly there is nothing new in the Dark Art of Political Spin, even when it is practised in those parts of the Body Politic where the Sun doesn’t shine.

I stumbled across this Ancient Truth again the other day,

as a man stumbles across a forgotten, rolled up carpet in a darkened room, as I was listening to Tony Abbott on the TV.

Australia’s current Prime Minist-ahh was explaining

how being born in a Desert was a “Lifestyle Choice” that disqualified you from receiving Social Services. Suddenly I noticed that my Personal Assistant (or, as she prefers to be called, Executive Personal Assistant), had fallen into a light trance whilst we listened to Australia’s least loved Prime Minister, and was now mumbling the words;

“Oh, Restitutor Orbis!

over and over again.

I was amazed. Not only because my EPA knows no Latin, but because it was by that title; “Restitutor Orbis” (“Restorer of the World” to you Plebs) that one of Rome’s more beloved Emperors, Aurelian, was honoured by a grateful and appreciative ‘Senatus Populus Que Romanus.

What possible connection could there be, I puzzled, between Tony Abbott and the Emperor Aurelian?


After all Lucius Domitius Aurelian (reigned 270-275C.E.) was one of Rome’s more successful generals, repeatedly turning back Gothic tribes and re-uniting severed limbs of the empire. He was a successful administrator also, reviving the economy and pulling the Empire back out of the economic and political chaos of the mid-third century. And Aurelian really knew how to keep his Senate onside with no problems pushing thru legislation, unlike you know who.

Maybe it was the infrastructure thing, I mused; Abbott’s always going on about roads and stuff, whilst Aurelian went on a building spree that left the Empire’s cities surrounded by walls,

a boon to the tourist trade even to this day.

No, it was more than mere bricks and mortar,

my Intuition told me, it was something else..

Suddenly I saw what my Personal Assistant’s Spirit Guides were trying to tell us; for I remembered that Aurelian, whatever else he might have been was also, as is Abbott, a Grand Master of the Dark Art of Political Spin.

Aurelian, for instance, never just executed an enemy. Not when he could “magnanimously” forgive them and march them in

one of his Triumphs for the Masses to marvel at his clemency. (Joko Widodo take note)

And then there was the Dacian Incident.

Now the Province of Dacia, between the Danube and the Carpathian mountains, had been added to the Empire about a hundred years or so prior, by the Emperor Trajan.

Trajan himself was perhaps Rome’s most successful General ever, and the last Emperor to add territory to the Empire.

At the time Dacia had rich gold and silver deposits, justifying it’s acquisition. But by the time of Aurelian those mines had long been worked out, and the province, lightly settled and never properly Romanised, was now more of a liability than an asset. For one thing, it added an extra five hundred miles or so of frontier that had to be garrisoned. Garrisons aren’t cheap.

So Aurelian decided to abandon the Province. He let it be known that, in a number of stages, the frontier troops would be pulled back to the Danube. People would be offered help to relocate south of the Danube, or they could choose to stay if they chose, but they were warned that “services would be withdrawn” from that area. They would be on their own and could expect no help from the Empire. It just wasn’t economically viable.

The trouble with this eminently responsible economic policy was that it involved a huge loss of Prestige, and could end up being politically fatal for Aurelian, fighting,

as he was, to reunite a recently fractured Empire.

Besides this, Dacia, as previously mentioned,

had been acquired by the ever popular Trajan,

and was the last time the Empire had acquired substantial new territory. (Trajan’s other conquests being fleeting at best).

Damn it! There was even a huge column in the centre of Rome commemorating the Dacian Conquest for the God’s sake! Trajan’s column was an integral part of the Roman brand, its very Self Image. Tourists came from the provinces to marvel at it. And you’re gonna tear it down? No, the Roman public’s self-esteem seemed inextricably linked to hanging onto the now worthless province.

Trajans column was the tallest thing in town

Trajans column was the tallest thing in town

But Aurelian, a crafty lad of peasant stock had a crafty idea.

Aurelian transported the uprooted citizens to a stretch of land south of the Danube. It had been called Moesia, an unregarded little backwater, but now, by Imperial decree it was renamed the ‘Province of Dacia’. Yes. That’s right, Dacia was now south of the Danube.

So Aurelian could claim that they never abandoned Dacia. They simply relocated it. “It’s still there!”, he’d say, “See, there it is on the map. And it’s full of Dacians too, so

what more do you want!?”

It was a bold plan and Aurelian may well

have gotten away with it, given time.

The Emperors knew how to use opportunistic military adventures to distract the public from domestic issues

Detail, Trajans’ column; The Emperors knew how to use opportunistic military adventures to distract the public from domestic issues

But alas, he lost the confidence of his Praetorian guard, as Cabinet was called in those days. For one thing he’d started insisting that everyone address him as, “Dominus et Deos Natus” (Our Lord and God). Getting wind of Aurelian’s plans for a cabinet reshuffle, and an Inquiry into Ministerial Corruption, his Ministers quickly moved first and called for a “Spill”- in this case, mainly of Aurelian’s blood.

Interrupting my reflections on the weird resonances between Tony Abbott and the Emperor Aurelian, and snorting like a surfacing sea-elephant, my EPA suddenly snapped out of her trance.

“Whazz.. What’s happening?” she asked blearily.

“Tony Abbott has moved Fitzroy Crossing south in an effort to improve train services”. I told her, “It’s now a suburb of Perth, right there next to Christmas Island“.

“Wait..Isn’t Christmas Island, like, an island?”,

she demurred doubtfully.

“Not anymore”, I explained, “They moved it inland to make it harder for boat people to access Centrelink“.

“Are you kidding me?” she asked, frowning.

“Restitutor Orbis, baby”, I told her, “Normal services will be restored shortly”

No drugs scandals in Sport in the good old days, just good clean butchery

No drugs scandals in Sport in the old days, just good clean butchery


*[(c) 2010 Murdoch Books Aust]


coloursunet meditation



Under the William Jolly Bridge

featuring the Rev Hellfire & more..

Yes if you’re in the geographical vicinity of Brisbane,

the Reverend Hellfire will be appearing today underneath

the William Jolly Bridge (on the south bank) from 1pm.

Joining a host of avant garde artists, punk bands and the homeless, the Reverend will be taking part in a solar powered, unauthorised Guerrilla Gig, organised by local iconoclastic

poet and provocateur, Gerald Kearney.

Come join the Fun! From 1pm to sunset,

or till when the Council turn up and drive us away.

Thanks & Acknowledgment to the Homeless,

in whose Living-room this event will be taking place.





The Reverend Hellfire is..

late AGAIN!



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