Spiraling & Coiling


*{R} You must be 16 years or over to read this poem



 Now it’s true that I like to conduct my own

OBscure Experiments in forbidden fields.

Like the time that I became OBsessed

by the Electric Eel..


It wasn’t fair, I had decided,

in a moment of unreasonable petulance,

Why couldn’t I generate an electric field

and leave my enemies stunned?

Why should a mere and lowly eel

have all the freaking fun.

After all, I reasoned,

80% of our DNA in fact

is shared in common.

The blueprints are down there somewhere

in the basement of the bodies Genetic Archives,

I just have to dig down deep

Locate, Access, and Activate

the appropriate DNA sequence, right?


  I took a multi faceted approach..  First,

 I read everything that I could find

about the Electric Eel,

delving deeply into  folklore

& scientific literature alike,

and plastered my walls with pictures of eels 

and their ugly protruding jaws.

I meditated frequently,

visualizing Radiant Blue energy currents

  swirling about me in my minds eye.

I shuffled my feet on carpets on windy days

 and sewed magnets into my socks.

I spent long hours in the bathtub,

in the Dark,

 thinking Eely thoughts..

Only my eyes and nose poked out above

 the surface strewn with stolen lotus lily leaves.

Furthering my mimickry I found

The Eels diet was not that different from my own;

Dead things, mainly,

                                  and lots of little fish.


At night, drawing on the Wisdom of the East,

 I lay in bed, breathing rhythmically, and focused on

Circulating throughout my body,

the Mystic Forces called Chi or Prana,

of which the Ancients spoke,

 till the room seemed to hum with a Phosphorescent Glow..

But suddenly my Research

was rudely interupted..

“Your thinking about Eels again,”

said my Girlfriend,

adding somewhat smugly, “ I can tell.”

  “Yes, Sweetest, ” I confessed,

“that is true, but tell me, did you know..”

    I continued, improvising a rapid lie,

“that when they’re mating,

         The Eels lovingly entwine and twirl

as if in underwater dance,

giving each other mild, mutual electric-shocks

that coil and spiral in pulsating waves


in a gradually cascading clitorescendo of  ecstatic bliss!?.”

 “So, We could try doing that, if you like”

I suggested slyly,

 “Try thinking of  my penis as a lightning rod.”


 “Well..” she said, “Alright.”

 My Girlfriend was good like that.

        She always

encouraged me with my researches.


Sadly though,

 In the end I had to DISscontinue

 my Eel experiments,

they were starting to have DISsconcerting

Effects on my environment and the

Bioelectric circuitry of my brain. Light bulbs blew

UP in my presence, compass needles spun wildly,

 Static storms erUPted in the stereo speakers

with the vicious squawks

of brain eating birds.

I was subject to short circuits and sudden seizures,

 micro-blackouts and fits of deja/


                                                                 deja vu..


there were Forces

  With which Man-Was-Not-Meant-to-Meddle!

  No, nor Woman neither,

I told my dissappointed girl.




Failing Poetic Inspiration?

Write to Sunday Sermons & have the Reverend Hellfire

                                                Solve your problems



~ by reverendhellfire on March 21, 2010.

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