Lets play pretend.

Pretend.. pretend..pretend..


Pretend the walls aren’t paper thin

Pretend the planes aren’t crashing in

Pretend our gold coins aren’t just tin

And that you have no doubts.


Pretend the climate hasn’t changed

Pretend our leaders aren’t deranged

Pretend that missiles still aren’t ranged

North, East, West & South.


Pretend it won’t all end in tears

Pretend we’ll rule a thousand years years

Pretend that you have no idea

What the hell I’m talking about.







“There’ll be no peace on this earth

until the last politician is hung

with the guts of the last priest”

Old Anarchist proverb

is this the next Prime Minister of Australia???


Who did you put last, my fellow Australians, when you cast your vote at the polls?

There was considerable competition for my last vote

on the QLD senate ballot paper this time around.

I had sixty squares by which to measure my sliding gradient of contempt.

Who did I hate more I asked myself, Family First or One Nation? Then there was the loathesome Climate Sceptics to consider also.

I know that the Citizens Electoral Council is a pack of right wing crazies too, but they’re so crazy I find them kind of appealing in a kitsch sort of way. Cosmic rays! Mankinds Destiny amongst the Stars! Founded in Kingaroy, mad as a sack full of rats, ya gotta love em!

Plus you have to consider what other crazy sociopaths are lurking under innocent sounding names or masked as “independants”. I mean, I know the Australia Party is another collection of dodgy right-wing individualist nutters, but who the hell are the Liberal Democrats? I don’t really know anything about the Christian Democrats either but with a name like that they’re certain to be puckered uptight assholes.

At the other end of my preference scale, my “least hated” choices as it were, there were few candidates.

In the absence of H.E.M.P & the Stable Population Party I was left with the Sex Party and the Greens to head my ticket, followed closely by Socialist Alliance, the Carers Party and the ALP from Family tradition & sentiment.

Somewhere in the middle of the pack of uglies and no-name crazies I plonked the Queensland Liberal National Party in reverse order. In fact I filled out the Greens senate line-up in reverse order also, because I can’t stand their lead candidate Larissa Waters. Not impressed by that girlie at all. I think its sad that after years of struggle here in QLD when the Greens finally get a chance to be elected this is the candidate they choose to field.

Whatever. In the Happy Hellfire household we voted late, then ambled back for a fine spread of cheeses & other eaties, followed by an epic main course of my renowned Hellfire Pasta. Drinking the finest wines we settled in to watch the early results trickle in..

All too soon an air of unreality seeped into the living room.

The Hand of fate beckoned..early fingers indicate..on TV the sacred pollsters take Ibogaine and enter a trance state. Foaming at the lips, rolling their eyeballs, they speak in strange tounges, whilst indicating that the gods are angry.

Desperately the priests offer a succession of sacrifices to avert disaster, whilst in the jungle, Mad Cortes (aka Tony Abbott, “the Wrath of God”) advances inexorably..

Out at sea on the good ship ALP, it was a dark and stormy night. The crew bailed desperately, but more water kept seeping in. New leaks kept appearing too, many, strangely, in the vicinity of Kevin Rudd, who bravely kept smiling. Yes.

Making matters worse, the corpse of Mark Latham kept bobbing up along side at the worst possible moments, embarressing everyone on board the boat. Nobody liked to be reminded

that once he’d been captain. So they pushed his sodden body away with an oar and kept on sailing and bailing thru the long night..

They called it the Latham Effect in the historically high informal vote, the electorates way of saying a pox on all houses. The number not registered to vote at all would be at least equal to those numbers again. Hey, being an old Anarchist I understand these impulses. I used to be campaign manager myself for the Vote for Nobody campaign back in the 1980’s. Nobody will solve your problems, we assured the voters with a straight face, Nobody will stamp out corruption!

No sign of Peter Garrett, lying low in the weeds probably, another useless Latham legacy..recriminations rebound .,Welcome to the Witch-Trials.. blame will be apportioned appropriately..using Loaded Language..this line from the Soprano’s keeps going around in my head; “You may as well shoot yourself in the head.(indicates with fingers) and here.”..

/..meanwhile the Knight of the Long Knives, a.k.a. Kevin Rudd was seen smiling and wiping the cream from his lips/

Walking away from core beliefs again..keep inhaling and pretend its not happening..They should have learnt from Ben Chifleys mistake, ie; never take on the Right and the Left at the same time. Old Ben did that when he took on the banks and the miners simultaneously and got tossed out on his then same thing..Kev folded on climate change and then took on the mining companies, making no-one happy..

The priests consult the sacred octopi and the sacred crocodiles. .worryingly they do not feed..the oracles are confused..

head whirls..too much wine..too much whining..the pollsters mutter their mantras in increasing frenzy..margin of..first booths indicate..another critical seat..nought point two percent but still a significant swing..factoring in margin for error..voter disillusion..any regrets Maxine?/a succession of pie charst fills the screen/

/with twenty-two percent counted..earlier trends..we’re crossing now to a fortune telling octopus in Germany.. no no I’m sorry that should be the Prime Minister..sorry, which Prime Minister??..the talking heads chatter and spin..counting continues in several marginal definitions of marginal are being drawn as i speak ..yes, any regrets Maxine?

“Personally I’d been hoping for a hung lower house with a Green for the deciding vote and a Green controlled senate for sometime now”, I tell the Living Room pundits pompously. “That way there’s a brake on whatever major mob of losers clings to power. For me thats the best possible result one could reasonably hope for at this time. I’m not in bed with the greens, but we are perhaps, fellow travellers. There is then, some small reason to celebrate.”

But with no clear winner by midnight, the guests depart and the last thought that passes through my spinning head as it hits the pillows, is that we’re probably going to have to go back and do it all again, very, very soon.




~ by reverendhellfire on August 22, 2010.

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