This poem is rated <R> 

We Burst Out Laughing


We’d been drinking all night.

Digging up the Past, as it were,

when the following Midnight

Confession occured..


“Yes,” my friend said, “I killed him.”

“He was a worthless, raping, bashing,

 blackmailing, murdering  piece of shit,

and I did the world a favour.

Oh yes,

He was a threat to me and my girls.

and I knew what was coming alright,

as each minute passed

I could see with growing clarity

the looming danger he posed.


There was no way around it,

I was trapped by circumstance.

I knew it was important

that he didn’t sense fear.

I knew that at any moment

I could lose what little control

I had left of the Situation

and then..


So I loaded the gun

and he pulled the trigger.


I have no regrets at all,

sure he had kids,

but I made the call

they’d be better off as orphans..


Had to get him off the premises, of course,

as quickly as we could.

He was a big bastard

and his limp body was as heavy

as a sack full of sand

as we carried it out to the car,

just me and two terrified, young prostitutes,

so drug addled they could barely stand.

When we accidently dropped him

he hit his head on the kerb

with a crack

and for a moment we froze in fear,

like he might wake up,

then we burst out laughing hysterically.

Couldn’t help it,

he’d been such a vicious cunt,

it was a real relief to know

he wasn’t a threat anymore.”


“Don’t tell anyone about it, hey mate?

It’s not the cops I’m worried about,

they’d probably give me a medal,

but his fellow scum might feel honour bound

to avenge his worthless corpse.”


Well I felt obliged to keep my word

and so kept silent to what I’d heard,

But as my friend

is long deceased,

it no longer matters

if this poem is released.



The Reverend Hellfire is a practising Performance Poet and an ordained Minister of the Church of Spiritual Humanists AND the Church of the Universe.

Your secrets are safe with him.


~ by reverendhellfire on November 11, 2012.

2 Responses to “WE BURST OUT LAUGHING”

  1. No good deed shall go unpunished…

    • Dostoyevsky thought all crimes carried their own punishment-but that’s a bit psychological for me.
      Perhaps the poem just goes to show that people are capable of anything when they’re backed into a corner. But for me the key episode is the laughter, that’s what I keep coming back to.

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