The Word

“They say a picture is worth a thousand words

but without the words there is no picture”  –Reverend Hellfire


In the beginning was the Word.


And the Word was Heard.


And Lo! The Word went forth,

and it was Fruitful and Multiplied,

so that soon there were really

quite a lot of them.


And the Word was a Herd.


But the Words were without Form

or Substance,

and thus were Void.


So the Words cried out

amongst themselves, saying,

“Without Meaning we are naught but Noise.

We are but Sound and Fury

Signifying Nothing.

Let us Give ourselves Purpose,

and Name ourselves to All that

which the Gods have made”.


Let us assign

to Everything That-is,

or That-will-be,

the Word by which it will be known.

And we shall distribute

amongst ourselves Content

and Copyright to every Word,

so that none shall challenge

their Meaning.


But soon the Words disagreed,

and they fell to arguing,

over Which meant What,

and What meant More.



Now the Clash and Babble

of many Words became a Roar,

that like a tower soared,

Yey! Even up unto the Heavens,

where the Gods, (both of them)

heard the Words,

and were disturbed.


“How can I sleep with all that Noise?”,

Sayeth-ed the Lord.


“I warned you all those Words

would come back to haunt you“,

said Mrs God…

“Using several of the very words

you were complaining about to do so”,

God peevishly pointed out.

“Don’t be pedantic”, said Mrs God,

“It’s a Catch-22 situation”.


“Oooh I haven’t read that one yet”,

Sayeth-ed the easily distracted Lord

who already had a copy of every

Book- Yet-to-Be-Written

on the shelves of his vast Library,

“Don’t tell me how it ends!”


“Just focus on the topic in Hand”,

Mrs God interrupted,

“We don’t want a bunch of Angry Words to

come between us. They’re just bored.

Give them something useful to do.

How about a Grammar School.

It would be good for them..

Words crave rules and boundaries”.

rev reading


But God, who was a lazy Bastard after all,

decided to sub-contract the job out.

Thus God Created Adam, and delegated him

to start work on the Nomenclature.


So Adam went to and fro upon the Earth

and up and down upon it,

giving Names unto Words,

and Words unto Things.


While Eve walked behind him,

tying neat little labels onto everything

so they wouldn’t forget

and argue afterwards

about Who was called What

and What was called Who..


Now Adam &Co., laboured long,

so that today the entire Universe

is composed of Words,

and continues to expand

as new Words are Created.


How long, oh Lord, how long

must they have laboured,

to compose an entire Universe,

when even a single picture

is said to be worth a thousand words!



And the Gods looked upon their labours

and saw that it was of an acceptable standard,

so gave them both Sundays off,

to browse in the Library of Eden.


But the Librarian,

that Old Serpent who is the Devil,

tempted Eve to read of the pages

of the Book of Knowledge of Good and Evil Words.


“Gee”, said Eve, “I didn’t know there were Bad Words”.

“Oh yeah, you gotta choose your Words carefully”,

said the Subtle Serpent,

as he casually dunked a biscuit into a cup of tea,

“you don’t want to upset the Big Guy by accidentally

using a Bad Word you didn’t realise was Bad.

This book is an invaluable guide.

Hmm. But I’m not supposed to lend it out

because it’s in the reference section,

so I wouldn’t mention that you have it,

if I were you”.


“Gosh!, said Eve, perusing the index, “is that one a Bad Word too?”

“It will be, in Cappoddocia  in the twenty-third century..

In the meantime..”


Here the Snake suddenly lunged and bit her.

“Why did you do that”, cried Eve, in pain and shocked by the

unexpected attack.

“I’m a snake. It’s in my Nature, what did you expect

me to do? Pour you a cup of tea?”

the Scaled One hissed indignantly,

“Complain to God about it if you’re unhappy.

I just work here Lady”.

snake girl


“I’m sorry Mr Snake, I didn’t mean to offend you”,

Eve apologised, but the Serpent was already

slithering off in a huff.


“Enjoy the book kid”, lisped the angry Librarian,

looking back over what would have been his shoulder

if snakes had shoulders,

“you’ll probably find a Word in it to describe how you’re

feeling right now. But remember,

if They catch you with it, we never met”.


Alas, you all know the rest of the Story.

The whole affair ended in tears.

eden taste


So when they say

that a Picture is worth a thousand Words,


without the Words

there would be no Picture.



Post script:


Mr and Mrs God were known by many names

throughout the different Ages,

as Zeus & Hera,

or Jupiter & Juno, or as Osiris & Isis.

They have many Avatars.

But despite their Hair styles and clothing

progressing with the times,

their essential Characters never changed.

They were always they same old,

Original Quarreling Couple.


Eventually though they got a divorce

and Mr God changed his name to JHVH

and won’t allow Mrs God to be mentioned in His Presence,

and in fact He pretends She never existed.


Indeed, He even went to the extreme of

challenging in Court Her right

to have access to the kids on weekends,

and told Jesus he was adopted.


He completed His Mid-Life crisis by buying

a sporty red chariot and having a fling with

one of the Temps from the Serephim Department.


As for the Serpent,

He was dismissed from the Library,

and started a small but promising,

independent Publishing Company,

that recently branched out into marketing

Operating System Software for home computers,

and has, or so I’ve been told,

been doing quite well out of it.

It’s called Apple.. or Word or something like that.


Strangely though, God still misses The Devil,

and sometimes, especially after the Divorce,

He thinks about ringing Him up

and getting the old band back together.


Perhaps it’s because, as Eve said of the Serpent:

“Oh yes, he was a slippery bastard all right,

but he was a real gentleman.

You couldn’t help liking him,

and he had such a way with Words.”+



cow Final


Tune in to Next weeks Sermon for the long anticipated tale;

“In Celebration of  Dr. T. J. Arachnid”


tai chi hand strawberry circle

The Reverend Hellfire is..

Well worth the wait.

Or so they tell me.



~ by reverendhellfire on September 7, 2014.

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