WHAM! SLAM! BAM! (redux)


Reverend Hellfire and panel

Reverend Hellfire, lurking in the shadows..(photo courtesy Tony Mutton)

The Reverend Hellfire made an appearance as panelist yesterday

at the Queensland Poetry Festival, with other distinguished luminaries of the Brisbane Live Poetic Scene, to discuss the Open Mic phenomena, its Culture, and etiquette, the role of Slams and so forth and so on. And ye Gods! At an ungodly hour of the morning as well. But happily the Reverend was let off his leash briefly and given the opportunity to do a couple of poems and clamber all over the furniture while he was there. (Wisely they’d bolted down the chairs before his performance so damage was minimal.)

Wandering on stage late (as always), with a couple of take-away coffees

and a bag of glazed donuts, the Reverend took a perch and happily munched through breakfast as he joined banter with debonair host Matt Hetherington and fellow poetic Auteurs, Angela Pieta, Des Skordilis and JdUB.

The Ladies of the Panel read some fine poems themselves and Speedpoet Supremo JdUB seemed very organised with his prepared notes.

In keeping with the occasion, the Rev read a poem dedicated to horrible Slams and then a poem concerning hideous Pub Gigs. Later audience members were given the opportunity to upbraid him for the lustful braggadocio displayed therein. (apparently)

More discussion followed. He who Must Not be Named (Graham Nunn) was named, and it was agreed that while he’d been

a very naughty boy,

he had nontheless generally been a force for good

in the Brisbane Poetry Scene in the Time before his Fall.

All on the panel agreed that the Brisbane Poetry Scene wasn’t at all incestuous, that the Open Mic scene was creating a sharing, nurturing Community and that all World Problems could be solved if only more people went to Open Mic Sessions and listened to Poetry.

On that stimulating note the session ended, and after handing out a couple of his fireproof, stainless steel business cards, the Reverend wandered off to find Clive Palmer, give him a donut and offer to run as a Palmer United Party Senate candidate at the next Federal Election..

The Reverend Hellfire, changing the World.. one poem at a time.

The Rev looks for the last donut as the panel discuss the Meaning of Poetry.

The Rev looks for the last donut as the panel discuss the Meaning of Poetry.(photo courtesy Tony Mutton)



Well, you know how it goes.

I wake up to discover

I’m at the Worst Poetry Slam ever.

Here I feel as comfortable

as Godzilla in a burkha.

Here the air is fouled

by jowled and jaded Art bureaucrats and

humourless hacks,

hunched scowling over their lattés and their

short blacks,

Snubbing the “lesser” poets, who,

seething with malice,

Glare/stare at the small-time Stars

sipping from Fame,

(their thrice-poisoned chalice)

while the cronies & sycophants

simper and chat

in cliques and claques

in booths at the back.


Down at the bar,

beer swilling bellies and bullies

bellow and belch

in the back ground.

Tonight’s judges, I’ll bet,

and mates of the Boss.

The bastards.


The sullen staff slouch and sneer,

convinced there’s some special significance

to being Queer,

occasionally deigning to pull you off..

a beer.

While you wait and you wait

to participate,

But a Methuselah madman

on the monotone microphone

is ranting & panting his forty-fifth canto..

(Wait a sec..is that Me

or My Optical Illusion up there?

Oh no, No!)


And meanwhile..

Management, mumbling morosely

at the cash register,

mentally starts putting chairs on tables

in their mind and wonders,

if the ‘Acoustic Jam Night‘ next Tuesday

will bring in a better crowd.


*The Slam described is a Composite picture drawn

from the worst aspects of several, dismal dull occasions

in the past.


Xtreme GOURMET pt2


tai chi hand strawberry circle

The Reverend Hellfire is a practised Performance Poet,

President of the Kurilpa Institute of Creativity

and an ordained Minister of the Church of Spiritual Humanists

AND the Church of the Universe.

“Every honest enemy

is worth two lying friends.”


~ by reverendhellfire on August 30, 2015.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: