Good Year for a War


It’s a good year for a WAR,

the Astrologers tell me.

All the Stars are lined up right and

Plague is definitely on the Cards as well,

See.. you can tell,

all the TRUMP cards, like



are upside down

and that’s always a bad sign.


Fortunately, the Television Psychics assure me


is just around the corner

and advise me to focus

on my Personal Development.

Lucky Numbers are 9 and 11. Orange

is also apparently Lucky for me

and if I just dial the number

at the bottom of the screen in the next half hour,

then I can have my own Personal Consultation

with one of their highly skilled Psychics

for only $3.40 per 60 seconds.


It worries me though that

the Television Psychics all look like

the fading, former Trophy Wives

(now divorced) of dodgy Gold Coast

Real Estate Speculators.

They wear too much jewellery

and make-up. Their hair looks dry

and brittle from too many bleach jobs

and all those decades at the tanning salon.

In fact they look like they could

just as easily be selling Tupperware®

on the Shopping Channel

if Destiny hadn’t called them

to provide spiritual guidance

to the lost and lonely.


If this were ROME circa 308 C.E.,

I could join a Mystery Cult,

rattle sistrums for ISIS,

drink Bull’s blood with MITHRA.

But the Mystery Cults are disappeared,

as enigmatically as they appeared,

and subsequently swept

under Christianity’s mouldy, motheaten carpet.


Maybe next time the Mormons turn up

I’ll let them in for a prayer session

in my living room,

although, come to think of it,

they haven’t been back for awhile,

not since that argument last time. They seemed

quite upset when I told them

that God was a Girl

and I was her chosen Consort and Minister.

I probably shouldn’t have slipped them

that Acid either, but

they looked lost and

it was only a small dose

really, and besides,

how often do you get a chance like that?


CHANGE is coming!” I called out after them

as they went pedalling angrily away.

“Probably in about forty-five minutes”,

I added, thoughtfully to myself.


Meanwhile the Astrologers are still telling me

that its a good year for a War,

but so what, their star charts are 2,000 years

out of date and besides,

you don’t have to be a Prophet

to know that.

It’s always a good year for a War.






The Reverend Hellfire..

Burning the candle at every end.



~ by reverendhellfire on January 8, 2017.

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