GOOD YEAR FOR A WAR
Good Year for a War
It’s a good year for a WAR,
the Astrologers tell me.
All the Stars are lined up right and
Plague is definitely on the Cards as well,
See.. you can tell,
all the TRUMP cards, like
are upside down
and that’s always a bad sign.
Fortunately, the Television Psychics assure me
is just around the corner
and advise me to focus
on my Personal Development.
Lucky Numbers are 9 and 11. Orange
is also apparently Lucky for me
and if I just dial the number
at the bottom of the screen in the next half hour,
then I can have my own Personal Consultation
with one of their highly skilled Psychics
for only $3.40 per 60 seconds.
It worries me though that
the Television Psychics all look like
the fading, former Trophy Wives
(now divorced) of dodgy Gold Coast
Real Estate Speculators.
They wear too much jewellery
and make-up. Their hair looks dry
and brittle from too many bleach jobs
and all those decades at the tanning salon.
In fact they look like they could
just as easily be selling Tupperware®
on the Shopping Channel
if Destiny hadn’t called them
to provide spiritual guidance
to the lost and lonely.
If this were ROME circa 308 C.E.,
I could join a Mystery Cult,
rattle sistrums for ISIS,
drink Bull’s blood with MITHRA.
But the Mystery Cults are disappeared,
as enigmatically as they appeared,
and subsequently swept
under Christianity’s mouldy, motheaten carpet.
Maybe next time the Mormons turn up
I’ll let them in for a prayer session
in my living room,
although, come to think of it,
they haven’t been back for awhile,
not since that argument last time. They seemed
quite upset when I told them
that God was a Girl
and I was her chosen Consort and Minister.
I probably shouldn’t have slipped them
that Acid either, but
they looked lost and
it was only a small dose
really, and besides,
how often do you get a chance like that?
“CHANGE is coming!” I called out after them
as they went pedalling angrily away.
“Probably in about forty-five minutes”,
I added, thoughtfully to myself.
Meanwhile the Astrologers are still telling me
that its a good year for a War,
but so what, their star charts are 2,000 years
out of date and besides,
you don’t have to be a Prophet
to know that.
It’s always a good year for a War.
The Reverend Hellfire..
Burning the candle at every end.