Hunter S Thompson returns from the Dead

Sunday Sermons consults the Ouija Board

for this special interview:

Hunter S Thompson returns from the Dead!

The Banshee Screams for Crab Cake!

If I have to come back here it’s going to get fucking ugly“- Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood) in Gran Torino

SS: Doctor are you there?

Dr T: Oh I’m here alright..You filthy little inbred animals! You flag-sucking half-wits! I turn my back on you people for ten years and what do you do? Elect a President who’s coloured orange and has three fingers on each hand! This is the best the American Electoral System can come up with in the 229th year of the Republic.. a running joke from the Simpsons? Ye Gods! Why not go for broke and just vote in Crusty the Clown. He’s got more credibility and he’d bring in the drunken Angry-Loner & Multiple-Alimony votes, two key Trump demographics.

SS: So you feel Doctor, that a certain air of unreality has overtaken the American political landscape?

Dr T: Are you kidding me? On Capitol Hill there’s a Grand Jury apparently trying to put together what appears to be a production of “Who Killed Roger Rabbit?” in Russian. Of course many Industry Insiders doubt the project will come to fruition, as Studio Head Trump keeps replacing Director after Director, generally citing, “artistic differences”.

Pouring gasoline on fire, the President’s slavering Hired Hyena & Media Mouthpiece Connie-Anne Kennel attempted to explain the situation thusly;

President-for-Life Trump sees the new production as being a light-hearted, romantic, Musical-Comedy, somewhat in the style of the Sound of Music, whereas recently replaced Director James Comey, saw it in terms of being a Political Thriller more along the lines of “The Manchurian Candidate“, only set this time in Moscow with the Russians as villains instead of the Chinese”.

“Unfortunately newly appointed Director Robert Mueller appears determined to follow the same script as Mr Comey,

and accordingly we wish him well in his career“, Ms Kennel concluded.

No Bubba..its not China Town anymore..it’s Toon Town! Realities are bleeding into each other..we’re in cross-over mode here people! When Reality Television becomes Reality, strange phenomena are certain to materialize.

No-one, for example, should be surprised at my own sudden reappearance at this particular point in time after more than a decade of silence… For am I not Lono!? He Who Lies Sleeping, Waiting for his People to call Him! And is it not foretold that Lono shall arise and casting down the scurvy swine before him into a Lake of Fire…

SS: If I may interrupt your breast-beating screed for a moment Doctor, do you have any thoughts on the state of the Democratic Party in 2017?

Dr T: They’re a party of Smurfs basically, and will only produce a candidate similarly composed largely of rubber or plastic by-products like themselves. Lisa Simpson should never have been chosen as their candidate in the last election in 2016, but she was owed a lot of political favours in Smurf Town and she felt it was her Time to collect.

Hillary contemplates s her stunning loss to Trump

Sadly, being a silicon based Life Form she had no pulse and voters could sense that lack of the human touch. Senator Simpson might have meant well but she’s a Policy Wonk* with little personal appeal and besides..she’s still carrying a lot of political baggage from her brief marriage to former President Van Houten and the sexual scandals that engulfed that Administration.

SS: How would you compare Donald Trump to your old Bete Noir, Richard Nixon? What advice do you think Nixon would give Trump?

Dr T: Trump makes Nixon look like Lincoln. Trump speaks for all that is cruel and stupid and vicious in the American Character. Actually it’s an odd co-incidence but I was talking to Nixon the other day on the patio of the Purgatory Golf Course (naturally we’re both members) and I asked him that very same question.

SS: What did he say?

Dr T: He said Trump should get a dog. I don’t know. I think he’s still bitter.

SS: Where will it all end Doctor?

Dr T: Tempted as I am to start quoting here from the Book of Revelations and screeching about Lakes of Fire and Nuclear Armegeddon, my gut-instinct as a gambler is that the end of the Trump Administration will see him driven in shame from Washington, in scenes resembling the last reel of Frankenstein, where the angry mob of pitch-fork wielding villagers sets fire to the old Windmill where they’ve cornered the Beast that has terrorized their community for so long. Of course in this case it would be the West Wing they’d be setting fire to, otherwise the analogy holds.

So far however, the flaming torch & pitch-fork wielding demographic still seems to be strongly supporting the President,

which brings us to the third possibility;

a National Socialist style takeover with the backing of several “rogue generals” and elements of the military, with Klan and Aryan Nation style Neo-Nazi’s acting as Brown-Shirts for day to day tasks like rounding up journalists and breaking the windows of establishments that employ Moslems or Mexicans.

SS: You paint a grim picture, Dr Thompson. What then do you advise us to do?

Dr T: Well you could always follow my example, purchase a Smith and Wesson 645 and blow your brains out.

***

* Editors note: From memory, in my childhood a “Wonk” was a grotesque rubbery figure, somewhat resembling a Smurf, but adorned with a garish shock of hair. Wonks generally adorned the end of pencils, which were inserted up their backside for that purpose. I believe they were invented to prevent lead poisoning in children. How they ended up clustering in focus groups and think tanks determining public policy is beyond me, unless it’s got something to do with Accountants always sucking on them.

***

***

The Reverend Hellfire is a practiced Performance Poet,

President of the Kurilpa Institute of Creativity,

and an Ordained Minister of the Church of Spiritual Humanism

and  the Church of the Universe. 

Can you dig it?

***

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~ by reverendhellfire on August 21, 2017.

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