Federal Election 2019 Report

Wearing a precautionary prophylactic lobster-bib, today’s Sermon spews forth a steady stream of undigested bile on the wonderful world of Australian politics. Enjoy.



Three Way Power Struggle Looms!


Chaos and confusion reign supreme as the Australian Federal Election grinds, shudders and jerks its way through the final, hideous death throes.

A brutal three-way battle has developed between Australia’s three main political groupings. The old Parties are largely irrelevant now except as political vehicles for shadowy malignant forces and Billionaires’ Vanity projects. No, the real question is; who will triumph in the battle between


for the Electorate’s hearts and minds.

STUPIDITY of course has the advantage of its long time political coalition with IGNORANCE who, until recently, had unchallenged control of the country electorates. However, this control has been eroded of late by the strong in-roads made by a break-away faction of SHOOTERS, HUNTERS & OTHER ASSOCIATED FUCKWITS. Though normally natural supporters of anything Ignorant, a combination of corruption, nepotism, incompetence, arrogance and sloth has finally alienated even rural voters. Will then IGNORANCE be able to maintain its traditional strangle-hold on the Country Electorates? Though the Bookies are silent, the Smart Money says, “Yes”.

Meanwhile amongst the Minor Parties, HATE has been making significant gains lately with disaffected voters since its contentious but highly effective “It’s OK to Hate” campaign.

However they were unsuccessful in their attempts to reach out

and form a coalition with the FEAR, citing areas of shared policy interest and overlapping constituencies.

But the FEAR faction leader contemptuously dismissed these overtures and claimed that “HATE is merely seeking relevance” and further vowed that “the country will be ruled by FEAR and FEAR alone!“, no doubt sending a shudder of deja vu running down most voter’s backs.

Indeed FEAR (with the strident support of News Corpse) does seem to be setting the agenda this election; Climate Change, Terrorists, Waves of Refugees, Compulsory Gender Re-assignment, Vaccinations..everyone seems to be afraid of something.

GREED has not backed away from the political fight though, and has spent up Big in an attempt to buy the voters’ Love, Affection and yes, even their Respect.

We believe we can rely on the Australian voters traditional Good Sense, which is to say, their sense of Self Interest. ” declared the self-imposed GREED leader and millionaire sea-elephant, who has personally funded the revival of avarice as a political force.

Never underestimate the Australian sense of self-entitlement,” he continued” This country was founded on Greed don’t forget. Last NSW election Gladys told the suckers that they “can have it all” and they believed her! Jesus, throw them a few fish and they’re flapping their flippers together and barking like seals on command!

But the voters seem to be prepared to support GREED despite such contemptuous comments, dazzled perhaps by promises of winning fabulous cash prizes. Indeed, GREED has much to offer the electorate; tax cuts, rebates for taxes they haven’t paid, negative gearing and of course, your very own Cayman Island banking account.

Last out of the Political Pandora’s Box is HOPE, but I can’t see much for their chances. That’s like expecting the Animal Justice Party to pick up a seat in Dubbo! Indeed, word on the street whispers discreetely that HOPE‘s political chances were in fact last seen floating, face down, along the Darling River with a bunch of dead fish.

Just past a little place called Menindee, or so they tell me.

Naturally there was a bit of a STINK about the whole affair, but fortunately a fresh Westerly breeze sprung up after a couple of days and cleared the air nicely.

Disturbingly however, reliable witnesses have subsequently reported that a large, black Thunder-Cloud, strangely reeking of Fish and the Stench of Death, was seen drifting ominously in the direction Canberra. More reports will be filed as they come to hand.



The Reverend Hellfire is a practising Performance Poet,

and ordained Minister of the Church of Spiritual Humanism,

and an endorsed H.E.M.P Party candidate in two state and three Federal elections.

Lost his deposit.


~ by reverendhellfire on May 5, 2019.

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