A Guide to Pandemonium

A Guide to Pandemonium


We welcome you to the City

of Pandemonium,

where Rogue Polyglots

roam the streets,

speaking in a babble

of Archaic Tongues,

raising Dead Languages

like Lazarus from the grave

on every corner.

Here Language Hackers

& Feral Futurists

alter the street signs

to point to Destinations

that don’t yet exist,

just land cleared of the trees

on the edge of town,

the ‘Gated Communities

of Tomorrow‘,

arising like Atolls of Privilege

from a vast Sea of Poverty,

where the maids & gardeners

all “tok pidgin Missus”

amongst themselves

and return in the evening

to their homes in the city slums.

Here Displaced Dialects

(the war-orphans of dead Mother tongues)

fight it out

in the car-parks & back-alleys,

like teenage clockwork-orange gangs

struggling for “Turf”, Power & Prestige.

Occasionally lone words

will peel off from the pack

on their own trajectory

to seek a better career,

and will come to appear

in a new context,

on Football Fields,

Corporate Boardrooms & Rap Records.

Such Words may well become Fashionable

for a Season or two, taken up

by the Fast Crowd at first

but soon all the cool kids

are using them

and then their parents too.

Oh, it’s a winning combination

alright; Hip Jargon

laced with Street Credibility.

Yes, the pitter-patter of Patois

litters the Language

of even the Upper-Crust nowadays.

Accepted by Pandemonium’s High Society

the Words will quickly appear on Talk-Shows

and even Text-books.


Ultimately they outwear

their welcome, of course,

their Popularity wanes

and quite suddenly they have become


and somehow slightly ridiculous.

Soon they are only spoken

as Affectation or Irony,

or heard occasionally in the ravings

of ancient park-bench Derelicts.

Hereafter they enter a moribund state

where they are only occasionally

woken from their hibernation

for brief revivals

in period-piece Costume Dramas.

The long Centuries pass.

Perhaps in Time Archaeologists

and Antiquarians will unearth traces

on Monuments & T-shirts,

unravelling ancient textiles

that crumbling tell the Tale,

in the Woof & Weave of Language

woven into a winding-sheet

or a Shroud, they come to be

venerated as Sacred Text

by the illiterate peasantry,

the Priests intone the Old Litanies

in the Forgotten Tongue

only the elders

and most learned of the Priests

now know the meaning they once held.

It is thus that the Buzz Words

that emerge in the Lingo of Pandemonium

proceed to their conclusion,

passing like Latin,

from the Literary

to the Litany,

and so complete their Journey

and Ours.



The Reverend Hellfire is a practised Performace Poet,

an Ordained Minister of the Church of Spiritual Humanists,

former President of the Kurilpa Institute of Creativity,

and has as much right to exist as any bug or flower.


~ by reverendhellfire on July 21, 2019.

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